The brothers, hating Yosef, did not talk to Yosef in peace. Rashi comments that this is in contradistinction to Avshalom who hated Amnon, and did not speak to him at all. Rashi says this is improper, the shvatim had the better way. The Rambam explains the pasuk “Do not hate your brother in your heart; rebuke your brother, and carry no sin on his account” (Deos;6, halachos 5-6) When someone does something bad to you, do not hate him in your heart, rather confront him and demand an explanation why he has done to you what he has. This is what the Torah explicitly demands that we do.
Whats the rationale? It would seem that the situation of people hating others in their hearts is dangerous and dishonest. Perhaps we ought to be wearing our emotions out on our sleeves. This would inculcate to us honesty in all our interactions, and in our personal lives as well. No doubt that would be salutary! Furthermore, being clear with our grievances makes them easier of solving. If we are upfront and tell our fellows how they are bothering us, they may come to correct their behaviors and beg our forgiveness. Otherwise, the problem merely festers.
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