Trouble Means: ‘Fun Ahead’
‘Yaakov settled in his fathers land, the Land of Canaan. This is the saga of Yaakov: Yosef was but seventeen when….’ Opon the juxtaposition of ‘Yaakov settled/Yosef was…’, Rashi comments: ‘Yaakov wished for peace and quiet. Hashem said, “Is the World To Come so puny, that Yaakov should want to enjoy This World too??” And so the saga of Yosef sprang upon Yaakov’.
Is seeking quiet a criminal desire? Did Yaakov NEED a hard time in Olam Hazeh?
Rashi’s language implies that its plain greedy for a tzaddik to want Olam Hazeh on top of the great reward awaiting him. Perhaps the idea is that someone anticipating great reward can disregard present discomfort. Hashem signals a tzaddik the immensity of reward awaiting him by ….. giving him a hard time in this world!
He delivers this message; ‘You don’t need Olam Hazeh; You’d be satisfied with anything in this world, would you know what awaits you’. Rather than a punishment, it’s a sign that that the tzaddik has made it!
But how does a tzaddik know WHY he is having trouble? Is it a sign of awaiting reward, or rather, perhaps, a punishment for sin? The nature and pattern of the difficulty gives the clue: punishment for sin scrapes and hurts more than just hard times. Sometimes it is not the nature of the pain, that its gets under one’s skin, but the unremitting nature of the pain; it hurts without a breather here and there. Or that its suffering that is also degrading. In other words, the pattern the pain presents, identifies its purpose or reason. (As the gemarah in Berachos teaches, one can recognize ‘yisurim shel ahava’ by profiling; the pain of yesurim shel ahava do not cause one to miss learning or davvening. Other pain does.)
Pain hurts. But what does it mean?? Perhaps it holds a message of hope!
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Are You Sure? Really Sure?
Yosef’s dreams alarmed his brothers. They even contemplated killing him, but ended up selling him instead. However, the eventual embodiment of the dream – Yosef being king – was not at all as they had feared. They were sure he would abuse his position to subjugate and lord over them. As they said, ‘Are you to rule over us, be our boss?’ However, actually, when Yosef became viceroy of Egypt, turning Egypt into the food center of a famine-ravaged world, he provided food to the shvatim. They bowed before him, not as their ruler, but as the man controlling the world’s food supply. Yosef used his authority only to uplift his brothers. It was a dream come true, but completely unlike they imagined it would.
Yosef had dreamt. It did not necessarily mean that he was gunning for mastery over them. Perhaps they ought to have judged him more favorably!
We too, would do well to consider alternative meanings to events. We make altogether too many assumptions. How about thinking less, and taking nothing at more than its face value?
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The Mystery Pit
‘The pit was empty: it held no water’ What was the pit there for? Who dug it?
The answer is simple: it was a well/cistern that filled in the rainy season, but was dry during other times. There were many of these dug throughout the desert, some holding water longer than others. It was a water hole. That’s why the Midianite merchants stopped by there, and found Yosef – for they were seeking water…
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Fresh Out Of Snakes?
Wry comment of the Sefer Charedim;
The pasuk says ‘the pit [Yosef was thrown into] was empty; there was no water there’. The verse is redundant; an empty pit obviously has no water. Why repeat that ‘there was no water’? Chazal answer; because the pit was empty ONLY of water. But it DID have snakes and scorpions!
The Sefer Charedim sees this as a metaphor; water represents Torah. People believe one can be empty of Torah, yet be a good person. The message is that a pit empty of water – Torah – is surely full of snakes and scorpions – bad character. Certainly one can learn Torah and still have negative issues. However without Torah to keep one on the beam, certainly that person will have issues!
Everyone has a religion. We humans, make sense of the world around us, and build ourselves a value system. Either Torah sets values, or we make them up. That explains this rule; if a person has no Torah, there will be wickedness…
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Tit For Tat
The term ‘Haker Na’ is found twice in the Parshah; once it was used to confront Yaakov with Yosef’s bloody coat, and then used by Tamar to challenge Yehudah to recognize his ring, stick and strings. (- Baal HaTurim)
The simple meta-meaning is that Yehudah was confronted with the evidence, as a punishment for the way he treated his father. Perhaps there is more to it. The way this world is set up is ‘As a person acts, so is he dealt’. This is not a punishment at all; rather it means that each person was given the prerogative of setting the treatment he himself will be treated with: his treatment of others, sets how he will be treated.
What power! Yehudah chose the method, and so he received identical treatment. Maybe we can think twice when treating our fellow man, – after all, we determine our own treatment!
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Yibum – Levirate Marriage
Most Torah laws are based on human universals. Torah mandates returning a theft. Is that something new and radical? No, it was around well before the Torah, the Torah merely gave it legal parameters. So with Yibum. A man with ten kids dies in Africa. His brother says to the widow ‘Nigoc! Come, let’s marry, and keep the family going together!’ They go on to have another three kids. In a sense, those three kids have two fathers, for they are born into an extended family.
That is essentially Yibum. Those kids were born into an extended marriage, one that started with the deceased man, and continued through his brother. Torah Yibum codifies this relationship. But Yibum exists independently, even in forms not sanctioned by the Torah. This is the Yibum of Yehuda and the Yibum of Boaz.
What is the theological significance of Yibum in Yehuda’s case? One idea is stated in chazal – a fuzzy lineage humbleth a man. Yibum is a nebulous bloodline, one that almost isn’t: is it Yehuda’s son? Er’s? Onan’s? A decent manhig needs a kupah shel shratzim. Otherwise, he goes despot!
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Who Are Your Experiences?
Yosef was sold to Potifar, butcher of Paroh. (Some say he butchered people: he was Royal executioner) He was also a sexual deviant, Rashi points out. By all accounts, he was not your ideal roommate. Yet a few short years later Yosef married the daughter of Potifera, Kohain of On. The Kohain of On was High Priest of On, a god. Rashi says the two Potifars were the same man. Potifar had become a theologian! How does a simple, brutish, butcher and deviant turn into an intellectual, a theologian!?
We think our personality is who we really are, reflecting our core. Our experiences flow from our personality. This is false. In reality our experiences develop our personalities. Raw chocolate turns into a nut-covered nougat bar at the candy factory; heated and transformed, its taste and texture change. Very little is left of the original chocolateness! We too are nearly completely formed – and transformed – by our experiences.
Yosef was awarded stewardship of Potifar’s house. ‘Hashem was with him’, meaning that he mentioned Hashem at every turn;
“Can you finish this job by noon?” “With the help of Hashem, sure!”
“Think you can repair my car?” “If Hashem wishes!” And so on. (Rashi)
Yosef constantly expressed Hashem’s providence, and Potifar began to contemplate G-d. He considered the purpose of the universe, if it is managed by a Higher force, and what would be the nature of that Force. He developed. He went so far, that eventually he was chosen as High Priest of On, one of his nation’s highest theologians.
What is the moral for us? We become what we experience. Take care to experience building experiences, not those that drag us down. Take care to hang around people who mention Hashem and His providence. Because you are what you hear and experience: you are your thoughts.
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Unhealthy Self Confidence
Yaakov is described a loving Yosef overtly – even making him a special tunic. This information is followed by Yosef sharing his dreams with his brothers. As those dreams foretold Yosef’s eventual royalty, they were not appreciated by his brothers, who were jealous, and hated Yosef as a result. Is there a connection between Yaakov’s love and the dreams?
The love his father displayed for him, added with his dreams, increased the jealously of his brothers, who felt sidelined by him. Even more, perhaps Yosef was so secure in his father’s love, that he took risks, sharing his dreams with his brothers. This was inappropriate.
Sometimes its not good to be too secure. Someone too secure feels invincible, and takes risks he ought not to. Does this mean we should not display love to our children, but rather always keep them on edge and guessing? By no means. But it does mean that there is a line between a healthy self-image, and a overconfident one. Mind that line…
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Prison Fun
Yosef, in Potifar’s house, was desired by Mrs Potifar, who tried to woo him. Yosef successfully resisted. But she almost succeeded, says the Gemara. It was really, really, that close.
Could Yosef have a future in that house? Not likely. He needed out. And so he was thrown into prison. In prison he turned manager, running the place. And prison was his ticket out to freedom and power, when Pharoh’s cup-bearer recommended him for interpreting Paroh’s dreams. So was it tragic that Yosef went to prison? Well, it was sad that he was enslaved at all. But given the circumstances, given his options, prison was a salvation for him. Instead of being a house-slave, chased by his mistress, he had a peaceful and honorable position in prison. Sometimes prison can be a good place to be. It all depends!
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The Light Of Darkness
In midst of the saga of Yosef, the Torah recounts the episode of Yehuda and Tamar. The Midrash comments; Yakov was mourning Yosef, Yosef was sad at his own slavery, Reuven was wearing sackcloth in repentance, and Yehuda had separated from his brothers. And what was Hashem doing in midst of all this drama? Preparing the light of Moshiach [through bringing the birth of Peretz, son of Yehuda.]
Its like the mother of the birthday kid – she puts up a load of laundry in middle of the party, and also takes out a roast to defrost. She celebrates no less than others, but is also concerned with supper tonight, and that the kids have socks tomorrow. That makes her act differently.
So too Hashem. He is just as concerned with our happiness as we are. But He also knows about the destiny that Yaakov perforce must descend to Egypt, and is preparing that it happen in grace, not in chains. He is also preparing the light of Moshiach.
This parshah is one of the saddest in the Torah. Yosef falls out with his brothers, and is sold as a slave. Yehuda loses his wife and two sons, and almost kills his daughter in law, carrying his child. And Yosef is tempted by his mistress, and lands in jail. But that’s all for show. The real story is that Yosef is being ushered into vizirhood, and the light of Moshiach is coming forth. Would we know the destiny of the Jewish people, as Hashem does, we would – perhaps – recognize the pieces being put into place. Alas, we do not. Not at the time at least. But we need to know that its all for the best. It really is.
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Shoe Thoughts
The Midrash relates that the brothers sold Yosef and bought shoes with the twenty silver pieces they received. Were they lacking shoes, why specifically this?
Perhaps they were showing their disrespect for Yosef by exchanging him for shoes. Shoes were a lowly item, and being exchanged for shoes was a message of disrespect. (Arabs throw shoes at someone to dis-respect them. Its the same idea.)
Or perhaps since a mourner does not wear shoes, buying a new pair indicated that they were completely free of any remorse or regret. They were proud of what they had done, and did not mourn or regret it at all, and showed it by buying shoes.
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Taken For Granted
“…let us sell him to the Yishmaelim [and not kill him], for he is our brother, our flesh.” So did Yehuda dissuade his brothers from killing Yosef. The idea he was expressing is that a person needs to be extra considerate of his brothers. So often people are nice to strangers, yet take liberties with their own brothers and sisters. This should not be so, rather the opposite needs to be true; a person ought to respect and cherish his family, not taking them for granted…