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Equality
Yaakov blessed Yosef extensively, lavishing six pesukim on him instead of the one or two the others received. Will this foster jealousy, as Yosef’s robe did?
Yaacov switched his hands while blessing Ephraim and Menashe, explaining that although Menashe was older, Ephraim will be greater. What of jealousy?
Jealousy is caused by unwarranted favoritism. When one receives benefits for no justifiable reason, others are jealous, and for good reason. But things are not all equal. Yosef had earned this distinction by now. He was supporting the entire clan. Surely he deserved more blessing. Ephraim was indeed greater than Menashe. He deserved the right hand.
We are not equal. None of us will ever be the same as anyone else, and we ought to quit seeking equality. Equality engenders mediocrity, the lowest common denominator. Do we want that?
Things are just not equal, and let’s celebrate that!
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Suffering
When his brothers approached Yosef expressing regret for sinning towards him, asking for his forbearance, Yosef answered ‘Although you intended evil, Hashem worked it for good, to save so many people!’.
Last parshah, when Yosef revealed himself to his brothers, he said: ‘Do not feel badly, for Hashem has sent me here for salvation. There has been already two years of famine, and another five await. Hashem sent me to create a refuge for you, a great salvation’.
Why did he talk about saving “so many people” now, and salvation for only them before?
Yosef found meaning in his suffering. Meaningful suffering is bearable. A man dragging heavy stones in a Nazi concentration camp does the same work as a weightlifter competing in the Olympics. Only the context differs. One is being tortured, the other is reaching his dreams. He will gladly fly in from the corners of the earth in order to compete.
When one can make sense and value out of suffering it becomes worthwhile and meaningful. Sometimes even fun.
The brothers were frightened, confronting their guilt; Yosef, their victim, stood before them. Yosef addressed this and said ‘Let’s move on, indeed, this is not your death-trap, as you fear, rather it will be YOUR salvation! Don’t panic, I am actually your good fortune’
Now the brothers expressed regret for the pain they had caused him, they feared Yosef would repay them for his pain. Yosef said ‘I found great meaning in my pain; multitudes were saved thereby!’ In each case he addressed the issue.
When experiencing pain, we need to ask ourselves ‘What do I gain by this?’ Often we will be surprised by the answer. We may even be grateful for pain.
Sometimes all that we will eke out will be ‘It is my zchus to serve Hashem despite all!’ Even that is much value.
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Clean Hands
Yaakov mentioned that the Meoras HaMachpela was purchased from Ephron. The Torah, when recounting his burial, repeats that they buried Yaakov in the Meoras HaMachpela which was purchased by Avrohom from Ephron. Why repeat it again?
(Perhaps this is the source for the Midrash that at the cemetery Esav challenged their ownership. The Torah repeats that it was purchased by Avraham, to hint that the ownership had been challenged and therefore re-proven)
Perhaps this teaches us a lesson: much as it was altogether proper that Yaakov be buried there, – his parents and grandparents were interred there and his wife Leah had been buried there, – and although this was the place spiritually suited for and predestined to him, they would not bury him there had there been any hint of question on its ownership.
Only because the ownership was without doubt, – signified by the double mention of this fact, – did they bury Yaakov there.
Ends do not justify means. It would be great to bury Yaakov in the Me’aras HaMachpela, but only if no monetary corners are cut…
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Being Misunderstood
When Leah took Rachel’s place as Yaakov’s wife, everyone ridiculed her for it. Even sailors and wayfarers said ‘Leah is not what she seems; she acts like a big tzaddekes but is rotten and mean inside. Look how she cruelly fooled her sister by playing along with her father’s plan!’
Even Yaakov thought this way and hated her, finally deciding to divorce her. But by that time she had children already. Yaakov reconsidered, saying ‘Can I divorce my children’s mother?’
Although he did not divorce her, he never accepted her. Until his deathbed.
Close to death, ‘[Yaakov] bowed to the head of his bed’. Who was the ‘head bedmate’ of Yaakov? Leah!! Yaakov finally approved Leah’s act. [Midrash]
There is a powerful lesson here. Leah lived practically her whole life being misunderstood and ridiculed. The strength of character that she possessed to be able to live with this and go on successfully raising six Sh’vatim is beyond amazing. And she taught us: it’s not easy living maligned, but it’s possible, it can be done.
We will not be understood in all that we do. So be it. Go forward anyhow.
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Prayer
Yaakov told Yosef that he took Sh’chem by his sword and bow. The Targum explains this ‘sword and bow’ as spiritual weapons: ‘prayer and asking’.
Prayer and asking – aren’t they one and the same? Why the double mention?
Asking is requesting something from Hashem. Prayer means having an audience with Hashem. Will we benefit by it? Its irrelevant. Our business is having a talk with Hashem. It also connects us up with the great basic truths we believe in; that Hashem hears us, that He cares about us, and that He involves himself in the affairs of this world. Any benefit, and we certainly do benefit, as Yaakov did, is entirely incidental.
We pray because we want to talk with Hashem, not to gain something thereby.
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Being A Mentch!
What do we suppose was the reaction of the Egyptian government at hearing that Yaakov requested burial in Israel?? Yaakov had sought refuge in Egypt, was graciously granted an upkeep, settled there and enjoyed the best years of his life there, becoming a revered and beloved figure.
Then he turns around and says that he does not want to stay with them – he wants to be buried in Canaan.
There might be outrage, scandal and anger.
Yaakov understood the conflict. That’s why he took pains to explain himself; his ancestors were all buried together in Chevron, and so was his dear wife Leah. Also that cave was specially purchased as the family burial ground.
Menschlichkeit; always and always.
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It’s Your’s?
Yaakov told Yosef he was giving him something extra to inherit, Shechem, which he took from the Emori with his sword and bow.
Why did he explanation how he earned it?
Eretz Yisroel was a sacred trust that Yaakov received. It was bequeathed THROUGH him, not TO him. He could not parcel it out as he wished, for it was not his to do so. He was explaining why he was giving extra to Yosef – because he had earned it independently with his sword and bow.
The moral is that there are things such as family traditions or inheritances that are actually trusts, not to be divided or giving to any individual. They belong to the family as a whole.