Selling Hashem to ones self

When Yaakov called Rachel and Leah to speak to them about leaving Lavan’s house he told them “I see that your father is becoming unfriendly to me, and Hashem spoke to me last night. You know how hard I worked for your father. Your father lied to me and changed the terms of my payment ten times over, and Hashem did not allow him to harm me. If he would change the terms to be that all spotted animals are to be mine, then all the animals would be born spotted. Hashem has taken away your father’s sheep and given them to me. Etc. And the angel of Hashem said to me see how all the sheep are being born to you, for I have seen all that Lavan is doing to you. I am the G-d of Beis-el to whom you anointed a matzeva and made me a promise, arise now and return to the land of your birth” Rachel and Leah answered “Do we still have a part in our father’s house? He has sold us as if we were strangers, and even took our money. All the money that Hashem has taken from our father is ours and our children’s, so all that Hashem has told you go and carry out.” We asked the kinderlach a question; since Hashem clearly told Yaakov to leave, what place is there for reasoning and explaining why they should leave? One suggestion may be that although Hashem told them to leave it seemed as if Yaakov had really come to Charan, pocketed Lavan’s money, and was now making off with it. So we try to understand how what Hashem commanded is in harmony with His own principles of justice. What they were discussing was that we can understand why taking the money was justified. Another approach suggested was that even though we will do the Mitzvos regardless of how much we do or do not understand them, we will try to understand them as much as possible. When a person acts on faith alone, the willpower he uses weakens with each use. But when that man acts out of conviction and understanding, he grows closer and more committed the more he observes. So part of serving Hashem is for one to see for himself the good and benefit that he will have in serving Him. Not because he serves in order to gain that good or benefit, but so that his attitude be that Mitzvos are really in his own interest too. So Yaakov, Rachel and Leah were selling themselves on the benefit that there was in leaving, until leaving turned from being a test and self-sacrifice to a happy event, eagerly looked forward to. (See Lev Eliyahu “L’hisanag el Hashem”)