Newsletter: Vayetzai Parshah Thoughts

Vayetzai Parshah Thoughts

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Jealous!

Rachel said to Yaakov ‘Without children I feel dead!’ She was now jealous of her sister Leah, who had children. Until now she was ok

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Jealous!

Rachel said to Yaakov ‘Without children I feel dead!’ She was now jealous of her sister Leah, who had children. Until now she was ok being childless. (Or at least she didn’t feel dead.)

Why did she feel better or worse because of what Leah had – she stayed the same? One thought is that although she had no children, she never focused on it. Now that Leah had children, she felt her own loss.

Another suggestion was that jealousy – not childlessness! – made her feel dead. Jealousy is a fake feeling, created by comparing badly to others. Indeed, had no one else any children she would have felt excellent!

What does this teach us about jealousy?

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A Love Of Labor

Yaakov said to Lavan ‘Were it not for the G-d of Avraham and The Fear Of Yitzchak (=noun, as in; “he was the Terror of Chicago”) you would have sent me empty-handed. He has seen my servitude and work and intervened for me’

The Midrash comments that Hashem appreciates work over parental merit: Yaakov attributed saving his money (’empty-handed’) to Zchus Avos, but his own salvation was because of his ‘servitude and work’.

What intrinsic value is there in work? Should one work even if he has money?

Man’s mandate is: ‘fill the world and conquer it’. This is an expression of what Adam was commanded in Eden: ‘work and watch it’. The fulfillment of Man’s basic job is greater than Zchus Avos. Development of the universe is a goal unto itself. The ‘work’ Yaakov referred to was progressing and advancing the earth.

(There’s lots to say on this subject, I am thinking now about the Ginai river telling Rav Pinchas Ben Yair (beginning of Chullin) that he is doing Hashem’s service by running to the sea…)

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‘Three Days’

Lavan put a three day distance between Yaakov’s sheep and his own. We find the ‘three day’ measure elsewhere in the Torah, for instance the Aron traveled ‘three days’ before the people preparing a camping ground for the people. Moshe asked Paroh for a ‘three day’ journey into the desert.

We were wondering if ‘a three days’ journey’ is perhaps a figure of speech, indicating a substantial journey, – something that takes time, – not a 1-2-3 trip. I don’t have hard evidence either way, but the number of times it is used makes me wonder if it isn’t a figure of speech. (Yaakov told Rochel and Leah ‘I see your father’s face and it isn’t as it was yesterday and the day before’ This is a figure of speech, obviously meaning ‘it isn’t as it once was’. Tanach also frequently uses ‘as yesterday and the day before’ to express ‘as usual’. Maybe ‘three days’ journey’ is of the same genre…

We say in our t’fillah that Hashem remembers the kindness of fathers and brings redemption to their grandchildren – 3 generations. Per this discussion, perhaps this means all future generations. Three means ‘many’.

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G-d Of Yitzchak?

Rashi asks; Hashem called Himself ‘G-d of Yitzchak’ when introducing Himself to Yaakov in the beginning of the parshah. Rashi ad loc. explains that although Hashem ordinarily does not confer His Name on a living tzaddik, that is because he may sour, but Yitzchak was blind and confined to home, so there was little risk in associating His Name to him.

Yaakov spoke to Lavan about ‘G-d of Avraham and the One Yitzchak feared’, why didn’t he say ‘G-d of Avraham and Yitzchak’? Rashi says Yaakov feared associating Hashem’s name with a living tzaddik. Didn’t Hashem Himself do so?

Perhaps although Hashem may take the liberty of risking a connection with a living tzaddik, we are NOT entitled to take those same risks. Hashem had taken that risk, but Yaakov was afraid to do so.

Another thought is that it was disrespectful for Yaakov to infer that his father Yitzchak was done in for, a has-been, someone who can no longer sin. Even when it involved something as positive as associating Hashem with Yitzchak, it implied Yitzchak’s impotence. Yaakov could not do that.

A final thought is that although Yitzchak was an exception, Yaakov was speaking to Lavan. To Lavan it would seem that Yaakov was taking liberties with Hashem’s name.

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Finding Reasons

Hashem told Yaakov to come home. He called together his wives and told them that Lavan isn’t friendly with him anymore. He also cheated him one hundred times. Also, Hashem told him to leave. They answered ‘What do we have from our father; he treats us like strangers for he sold us, and even stole our money. So all that Hashem tells you, do it!’

If they had an explicit directive to go, why seek reasons?

Part of serving Hashem is to sell to ourselves that His directives are worthwhile and pleasant. We need to develop a positive attitude towards Mitzvos. Thinking of the benefit we have from doing Mitzvos will do that.

Suppose someone needs a paperweight, and improvises, using a hammer instead. I assume hammer manufacturers have absolutely no intent that their hammers be used as paperweights. That should not stop our appreciating a hammer for its paperweight-ship. Our appreciation of something need not have any connection for its real meaning or purpose!

Similarly, when we find personal value in Mitzvos, all it means is that we appreciate the Mitzvah for such and such a reason. No harm in that.

Rav Moshe z’l told of Jews who groaned of the difficulties in keeping Shabbos. The attitude that went over is that Shabbos is difficult. Although they personally kept Shabbos in every hardship, their kids stopped keeping Shabbos.

Yaakov and the Imahos were going to keep Hashem’s directive regardless. But they wanted to make it sweet to themselves, something they appreciated, not a sacrifice.

Put it this way: When a person acts on faith alone, the willpower he uses weakens with each use. So does his commitment. He expends his energy in overcoming his objections. But when that man acts out of conviction and understanding, he grows closer and more committed the more he observes. Part of serving Hashem is to recognize the benefit he gains by serving Him. Not because he serves for gain, but his attitude will be that Mitzvos are in his own interest too.

We also suggested that Yaakov and the Imahos considered every directive of Hashem as a principle with far-reaching implications and lessons. They wanted to analyze and understand the directive thoroughly so as to be able to apply it in parallel cases; what were the factors involved and what did Hashem say to do. That is what they were doing: defining the meaning in Hashem’s directive.

Hashem told them to leave, but it seemed as if Yaakov had come to Charan, pocketed all of Lavan’s money, and was now making off with it. They were explaining how what Hashem commanded was in agreement with His own principles of justice. They were saying was that taking the money was justified.

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Fooling Around

Lavan, it is rumored, fooled Yaakov into marrying Leah. Why? What was his gain?

Perhaps he was afraid he could never marry Leah off, for her eyes were soft. So he fooled Yaakov into doing so.

Another suggestion is that when Lavan saw the success Yaakov brought him, he wanted that Yaakov stay on as long as possible. He might gain this by fooling him into taking Leah, so that he would stay another seven years for Rachel.

And perhaps Lavan was so crooked that he could not deal straight. Even had there been nothing to gain he wouldn’t be honest. If he wouldn’t fool Yaakov he’d feel naive!

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Thank You, Really

Leah gave birth to Yehuda and said ‘This time I’ll thank Hashem’. Why now? For she had more children than her fair share. (Rashi)

What of her other children: weren’t they something to thank Hashem for too? Indeed, need we thank Hashem for our children?

The truth is that we do. It’s all a gift. Everything we receive is something to thank for. However there is wonder when one receives a gift as a surprise, something unreckoned for.

Leah had been thanking Hashem all along, but now she thrilled with thanks. Now she truly thanked Hashem. There was no ‘So what? It’s normal, everyone get this!’

How much more exciting would life be if we held this attitude?

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Two People In One

It was no accident that Leah married Yaakov. Leah had thought herself to be Esav’s destined. Indeed she was. But Eisav sold Yaakov his portion. This included his entire destiny, including Leah, his wife. For Yaakov didn’t just buy off Esav, rather he entered his shoes!

Perhaps this partially explains why Rachel played along with the farce – for it really was supposed to be so; Yakov was to marry Leah in his Esav alter ego! – Sfas Emes

©2013
kollel parshah | Tiferet Ramot 83-21, Jerusalem, Israel, 97290

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