Afraid yet secure

How could it be that Mordechai would cry out so greatly and bitterly in the town square, and then yet say to Esther “If you will be silent, refusing to intercede by  Achashverosh for us, then we won’t be the ones suffering; salvation will come to the Jews from elsewhere. Only you and your father’s house will lose out!” That sounds like he wasn’t worried at all (other than being worried for Esther’s salvation!) How do we reconcile the two? One suggestion was that Mordechai cried out in the streets. That having been done, t’shuvah was accomplished. After t’shuvah salvation will surely come. Alternatively, Mordechai was very concerned about the situation, yes. But he also knew the sure-fire remedy to their problem. when they will follow this remedy they will have solved their problem. That remedy is t’shuvah. So what Mordechai was saying to Esther was we have a salvation awaiting us when we will do t’shuvah, guaranteed. Only you will lose out by not helping us.

I suggested a third way; Mordechai had faith in Hashem that things will turn out well. It was altogether proper that he hold such faith in Hashem. At the same time, Hashem was threatening them. He was waving the sword of destruction over their heads. Mordechai could have pretended that he didn’t notice the threat, but that is not the proper way. The proper way is to be duly impressed, and to respond. Let it hurt! We are surprised; how can a person hold two conflicting viewpoints at the same time – does he feel safe or does he feel threatened? The answer is that he can. Fact. Perhaps an explanation is that we exist on many levels. We are the intellectual who views life philosophically, and at the same time we are the small child who sees the threat before him and is petrified of it. That’s why we can relate to the same event in two different ways. (A common example is going on the roller-coaster. We are thrilled and petrified at the very same time our intellect knows that it’s perfectly safe!)